Returning from a long departure...

I'm feeling the lack of cyber communication... so i decided to blog today n_n
Hmmm... well, the stresses from college applications have faded just a bit, after I submitted my UW application... but I am not complete with the college application process... I have several more schools to apply to before I can truly rest and drown in the bliss of senioritis : )... heehee...
Speaking of bliss... I have spent this whole month just reminiscing and I guess if I were to put it in cynical terms... rather pitying myself...
I mean, a certain amount of self-pity is sufficient for mending... but I find it quite awing when I meet people who simply laugh off the pains and angers in life...

'The more you care the more you hurt...'

Sadly, this is true in almost all occasions... nothing can be painful, unless we ourselves agree to submit to the consequences of loving another...
And I realized that is were the true beauty of love originates... Love is beautiful because those who fall into it submit all their emotions in risk of receiving emptiness in return... (Maybe this is the emotional side of me blabbering on endlessly of the cliche lessons that we have all heard and we ourselves have come to learn about)... but the most beautiful pieces of literature and music originate from the pangs of heartache and disappointment...



The word love is frequently thrown around to meet the satisfaction of that one of many moments when everything in the world seems to be in perfect unity with the universe and everything that resides within it, which makes it all the more painful to face the reality of it all... That the whole 1 year and a half that I have comitted was in the pursuit of pure nothingness.

I love you should not be simply said out of the need to find words to describe that split second of happiness... love is meant to be everlasting... it is that aspect of love that keeps it pure and clean...

But love that has transformed into hate and anger is no longer love... it leads me to conclude that it was never love to begin with, but merely another teenage infatuation... why must immaturity rule these powerful emotions?!?!?