Returning from a long departure...

I'm feeling the lack of cyber communication... so i decided to blog today n_n
Hmmm... well, the stresses from college applications have faded just a bit, after I submitted my UW application... but I am not complete with the college application process... I have several more schools to apply to before I can truly rest and drown in the bliss of senioritis : )... heehee...
Speaking of bliss... I have spent this whole month just reminiscing and I guess if I were to put it in cynical terms... rather pitying myself...
I mean, a certain amount of self-pity is sufficient for mending... but I find it quite awing when I meet people who simply laugh off the pains and angers in life...

'The more you care the more you hurt...'

Sadly, this is true in almost all occasions... nothing can be painful, unless we ourselves agree to submit to the consequences of loving another...
And I realized that is were the true beauty of love originates... Love is beautiful because those who fall into it submit all their emotions in risk of receiving emptiness in return... (Maybe this is the emotional side of me blabbering on endlessly of the cliche lessons that we have all heard and we ourselves have come to learn about)... but the most beautiful pieces of literature and music originate from the pangs of heartache and disappointment...



The word love is frequently thrown around to meet the satisfaction of that one of many moments when everything in the world seems to be in perfect unity with the universe and everything that resides within it, which makes it all the more painful to face the reality of it all... That the whole 1 year and a half that I have comitted was in the pursuit of pure nothingness.

I love you should not be simply said out of the need to find words to describe that split second of happiness... love is meant to be everlasting... it is that aspect of love that keeps it pure and clean...

But love that has transformed into hate and anger is no longer love... it leads me to conclude that it was never love to begin with, but merely another teenage infatuation... why must immaturity rule these powerful emotions?!?!?

An Old Poem

Fallen Angels

The boots they come after the rain has gone;

Bright and full of color like the face of the sun.

The simple tapping of the children's feet

As they pass through the puddles of wet streets.

Splitter splatter just like the rain

These notes are carried on down the building's drain

The sap of the tree rings the joy of the rain

That has befallen on this land

The renewal and the joy as people walk hand in hand

Pit pat, pit pat, pit pat nature rejoices with a grin

Like the tapping tail of Serena's fin

A splat and a splitter and silence in between

Of the gift that has turned the trees green

And brought serenity just below heaven

Oh its lively patting is a leaven

To the hard ground that it befalls

It's the song from heaven that calls

And falls and falls and falls

To bring life back to the people below...

Unsettled thoughts...

Sometimes being direct is not enough... and sometimes a simple poem is enough to rejuvinate my spirits...

Simple strings of sunlight glimmer
Through my bedroom window,
Reminding me to live this day anew.
The flickering silence of the still morning
Whisper the words of my restless past...
These footsteps echoe the voice screaming
In the back of my mind beseeching that
I will never forget...
Never forgive...
Never rest....
But the morning dew
That softly trickles and rests
On the living land
Cascades silence over my thoughts,
Absorbing the thrombing pain of
The unfinished melody of our song...
The somber tune of the pianist
Preaches the lesson of the hermit
That forever remained in solitude
'til the earth swallowed him whole;
Forever blindfolded by his despair
To see the hope that the trickling rays
Of the sun brings to every pupil...
'So our dear Friend',
Whispered the Dews,
'We symbolize the hope that can be unearthed
From the deepest disappointments
Of unrequitted love.'


The strings of morning light glimmer through my window
Waking me from the dream that was once engraved in my past...

"Girls need attention and boys need us... so let's make everybody glad" ; )

I'm quite addicted to this song and it is quite fitting for my current feelings towards a particular situation...



Reasons to Love you By: Meiko

I hope you enjoyed it... heehee