Out of Words...

A Capsule for this Frenzy

Little droplets, tiny droplets
Close companions of mine
Ringing words, ticking clock
In thin air you sublime

Dancing, prancing droplets
My companion in solitude
Suffocating sorrow
A parade for the little dews

Little pearls, precious pearls
Valuing more than the hermit
Little droplets, evanescent jewels
You circulate my grief

Carnivorous words… Silence
Then a gasp of hysteria
Little droplets, tiny droplets
Encapsulating this frenzy

Worse than an addiction...

Hmm... I haven't been maintaining my blogger account... I've been investing most of my time on myspace... doing what? well, accomplishing absolutely nothing... I seriously need to re-collect myself... The other day, Mr. Flores told me that I have to start studying for Calculus... that pretty much told me that I was not fulfilling my duty as a student. On my last Political science test, I managed to barely pass... hmmm... I've been procrastinating a lot... yep, I've got senioritis bad. Oh ya, and I believe it was three days ago when totally ditched Japanese class. I haven't really been a good student. I suppose the distractions that come with I don't know... trying to maintain a "forbidden love"... has taken almost everything from me... I mean, love isn't love without sacrifices... and, "why would I ever think of sacrificing my parents love and trust for me?"... "for him", is that answer good enough... I, of course, love my parents more...duh!... but I apparently can't have both... and not freely being able to be with him, puts me in a miserable position... This is worse than an addiction...

Confessions of a hypocrite...

"We have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from others..."

So often do I find myself criticize and pass judgment on other's behaviors... and so often do I hear others point out the imperfections of another person... One unifying factor of the previous situation mentioned is its irony... We condemn people we declare "close-minded"... and yet, we ourselves agree to the worst form of social hostility, which is alienation, by simply creating a group generalization of another individual and convincing others to agree with our judgment... and I am afraid I have fallen into that dark pool of prejudice and close-mindedness... Its true that we won't like every person we meet along the way, but they deserve respect... They deserve the respect that we would demand from others when they judge us based on little or no knowledge of our true selves... Why must we allow the majority to manipulate our judgment as an individual?... The feeling of not being wanted is most surely unpleasant... As much as we might differ from our closest relatives or a mere passerby on the streets, we are all similiar in that we all seek a certain amount of acceptance. We might not like every person we meet, but we are all capable of comitting a certain amount of respect for each other (whether we are in front or behind their back).

"If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music in which he hears, however measured, or far away."
-Henry David Thoreau

Bleh...

Lately, gray clouds have been settling over our little island, which has resulted to the frequent drizzles and cool temperature... Although the temperature has been more bearable than the hot heat, the weather has made me feel so -------- bleh... Maybe it was my outfit today? (I mean wearing a full on black outfit on an island is quite odd... and it just so happens that wearing too much black usually have people stereotypically associate that person as an emotionally distressed being, which I may I add I am not!)... Of course, I do break down and I do have my self-pitied phases, but who doesn't??? The weather has been so gloomy these days... but at least there was no thunderstorm this evening... Last night was MASSIVE! I have a phobia of lightening and thunder... I really can't stand it... I do hope that tomorrow's weather is more cheerful... I've discovered that the weather has affected my moods, but these days whatever mood I am in I am stuck in senioritis mode... I just can't concentrate!!! I fear not getting anything done, but I am always so tired and distracted these days... I also miss hanging out with my friends... I've been busy with work and school (I'm not even sure if I should have taken the other tutoring job at the math department... I hope it won't cause an overload in my schedule)... I mean I see the NMAers everyday, but it's usually during class, lunch or work... It would be nice to hang out away from school at least once every week, but we all have our obligations to fulfill for school and our other responsibilities... I'm sure that next semester we'll be able to see more of each other... especially when college applications are done... but as for now, I look forward to a more cheerful weather tomorrow : )